Ladies and gentlemen, someone whom I’ve always personally admired perhaps more deeply, more strongly, more abjectly than any other performer… A man… Well, more than a man, a god. A great god whose personality is so totally and utterly wonderful that my feeble words of welcome sound wretchedly and pathetically inadequate. Someone whose boots I would gladly lick clean until holes wore through my tongue. A man who is so totally and utterly wonderful that I would rather be sealed in a pit of my own filth than dare tread on the stage with him. Ladies and gentlemen, the comparably superior human being, Harry Fink.